Increasingly desperate Norwich City are expected to announce later today the appointment of a Mongolian shaman and a wizard from Torquay in a bid to boost their team’s survival hopes.
Shaman Babou Nyekitan previous worked praying for good weather conditions for his town’s farms just outside Mongolian capital Ulan Bator however he also has experience of summoning wildebeests and camels to unleash upon enemies and it is these qualities that are believed to have attracted the Canaries in their fight for survival.
What's that? They've got a wolf playing for them? I'm in.
Wizard Eldorn Trybeard is believed to be adept at potion brewing though what his day to day role will entail is not yet known. His appointment has been labeled controversial after a team dispatched by the FA to determine whether Trybeard’s potions contravened any drug laws were turned in to newts. Trybeard was heard exclaiming from his tower that the FA should consider its actions more closely before sending people on to his land without prior arrangement.
Caretaker boss Neil Adams had this to say regarding the pending appointments.
“Look, I’ve been brought in at a tough time for the club and to be honest, we need a bleeding miracle. The board told me a fresh approach was required and that I should try and stir things up a bit so that’s what I’ve done. Quite frankly I think Suarez and Sturridge are going to piss themselves when they see the kind of things this shaman fella can do.
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