We move along nicely today to Group E, a group somewhat overshadowed by Mortal Kombat, Franck Ribery and a naked Alexander Frei.
Ecuador
Until now,
football has been largely ignored by the Ecuadorians until the country,
discovered in 1997 by explorer DJ Sash, qualified for the World Cup by
mistake, having believed they were applying for planning permission for a
swimming pool.
While the country celebrated its surprising entry into this
year’s tournament, many young swim fans around the country mourn the loss of
their watery playground. Ecuador 's
badge is an eagle on top of a carrot, due to the country's age old tradition of
dressing as vegetables and fighting an eagle though it is not known whether
these skills will transpose well on to a football field.
Yet Ecuador’s main impact on the tournament will not be
their eagle fighting antics but something that transpired prior to the
tournament’s start after Sweden refused to take part, in protest of the
Ecuadorians perceived persecution of swimmers and it is this that has won
Ecuador no fans in the international football community as it has denied fans
the opportunity to see Swedish superstar Zlatan Ibrahimovic, who had promised
to ‘Zlatan’ FIFA head honcho Step Ladder.
Can Ecuador
overcome their tags as ‘stinky Ecuador ’
and enjoy a successful tournament? It’s certainly a tall order.
TIFND prediction: It is hard to look
beyond Ecuador
losing all their games. The best they can hope for is heavy rain, and a win by
The Duckworth Lewis Method.
Man to watch: Walter Ayovi. The Ecuadorian vice-captain is
known for his flamboyant eagle hunting whilst dressed as a potato.
Did you know? For one day each week,
Ecuadorians are legally allowed to hit cats with hammers.
France
Karim Benzema utilises a grappling hook to forcefully pull
his opponent towards him, Remy Cabbella has mastered the art of burning his
rival alive, whilst the key man, Ribery himself, favours pulling out their
spine before landing an upper cut, propelling his opponent into a pit of spikes
located hundreds of feet below the pitch.
Utterly adored by millions of French supporters, star man
Ribery ticks all my boxes. Key man Franck Ribery is so twisty, so turny, so
twisty turny, that he doesn’t know if he’s coming or going. Of course, star man
Franck Ribery is famous for winning a match for his team in February by
elbowing an opponent so hard, their face fell off.
Can star man Ribery deliver the goods in Brazil ?
France certainly hope so; major shareholder Franck Ribery is seen as a key man
in taking France forward. His economic expertise and strategic thinking are
second to none.
TIFND prediction: With key man
Ribery, France
cannot fail to win the tournament. Star man Franck guarantees goals, assists
and a lot of flair.
Man to watch: Imperative to his
side's success, the indispensable Franck Ribery is regarded by many as France 's
best player.
Did you know? Franck Ribery is not
included in France 's
23 man squad.
Honduras
Honduras, nickname "Los Catrachos" (roughly
translated as "Eaters of the Souls of the Virgins of Our Land"), were
the first team to qualify for the World Cup, having sent off their application
early, and also including a self addressed envelope for the response.
The bar of expectation is high for this Honduran side with
master tactician Luis Fernando Suárez at the helm. In 1972, Suárez made history
when in charge of Atlético Nacional by invoking the little known "assault
clause", and thus becoming the first manager to field a team of 20 players
in a 4-4-11 formation.
It is such tactical flair and masterstrokes that give Honduras
an edge in the dangerous group E. Matches in the group are scheduled to take place
underwater, in a tiger-filled pit and in space. Teams will require an extra
something to progress and head coach Suárez is certainly someone who can
deliver that.
Will the clever balance of efficient form completion and
tactical nous be enough to send Honduras
to the latter stages of the tournament? We can’t wait to find out!
TIFND prediction: You can't legally
bet against the Hondurans, but if you could we would advise you to. As the only
country in the whole world beginning with the letter H, Honduras stand a better
chance than most of returning home victorious however a failure to correctly
fill out their forms for qualification from the group stages will see the
Hondurans heading home early.
Man to watch: Oscar Garcia. Following the Honduran football
association’s introduction of the rule that all players must be over the age of
40, the midfielder stepped down as manager of Brighton and Hove Albion in England
Did you know? Star striker Carlo
Costly has only ever moved on a free transfer.
Switzerland
Brint Futnix reports for TIF
News Desk:
However their preparations were dealt a serious blow when
team captain Gokhan Inler was ruled out of the tournament with gas.
Understandably, morale was low at that point for the Swiss but Hitzfeld just
had to remind them of what was at stake:
But with Switzerland
currently on 0 points in group E, and it's hard to see them picking up
anymore. Relegation beckons.
TIFND prediction: The Swiss are arguably the most highly
motivated of all 20 teams in the league and TIF News Desk believes it is this added
motivation that will see the Swiss fail to qualify and have to make do with an
Intertoto Cup spot for next season.
Man to watch: Tranquillo Barnetta. The midfielder has never
once in his life been angry but it is believed the World Cup could unleash the
animal within him. This animal is believed to be a stoat.
Did you know? There are no sheds in Switzerland
No comments:
Post a Comment