WORLD CUP PREVIEW: GROUP G

The World Cup is now but a mere two days away and TIF News Desk are previewing the competition group by group and team by team.

Today is the chance to shine for Group G. A group somewhat overshadowed by Morrissey, John Terry and Anton du Beke.

Germany

The Germans are in a supremely confident mood, believing that this World Cup tournament will be a walk in the park for them. Following their qualification and drawing in to Group G, German coach Joachim Löw has revealed that he is not even bothering to train his squad and that instead they are practicing celebrations.

Strikers Lukas Podolski and Miroslav Klose have been in particularly fine form. Podolski has been perfecting his back flips and other somersaults, combined with a beaming smile and yelps of joy whilst, Klose has opted to work on some dramatic pointing and interpretive dancing to celebrate his goals.

The best work though is arguably coming from defensive pairing Mats Hummels and Per Mertesacker who have been practicing what they are referring to as ‘The Routine’, a 17 minute dance featuring lifts, thrusts, jumps and Anton du Beke. Löw has indicated however that the collaborative team effort when they win the final, the nature of which is being kept tightly under wraps, will trump all individual efforts.

Whilst fans and judges will be eagerly awaiting many German goals, critics are saying that Germany should be focusing on the football first and worrying about celebrations after. Spoilsports.

TIFND prediction: Mertesacker and Hummels will impress the most in the group stages but we believe Miroslav Klose’s dance work will go up a level in the knockout rounds seeing him lead the way until the final when the team celebration will surpass all before it.

Man to watch: John Terry. With so much celebration, the Chelsea man won’t be far away, dressed in full kit and ready to join in at a moment’s notice.

Did you know? Defender Marcell Jansen missed out on the trip to Brazil after scoring a goal against his former club Bayern Munich and refusing the celebrate.

Ghana

Ghana were in actual fact the first team to qualify for this World Cup, managing to do so 3 weeks after the tournament was announced however they were so quick securing their qualification that FIFA missed it and forced the African nation to qualify for a second time.

Coach James Kwesi Appiah has bemoaned the hectic footballing schedule for his side, claiming that it has caused several of his squad to lose form and fitness ahead of the tournament after they had to play all their qualification games again, several of which fell over the busy Christmas period.

But the Black Stars are not called nicknamed as such for no reason. A little-known cosmic phenomena, a black star is a sun of endless energy and fire, burning at twice the speed of a regular neutron star and Ghana took this name after the team took part in a 36 hour-long football match in 2010 when ‘next goal wins’ rules were called but the deadlock was not able to be broken for a day and a half.

The Ghanaians will need to call upon every ounce of their black star energy to get through a tough group stage off the back of a very long season for them.

TIFND prediction: Ghana will channel the spirit of 2010 and power through Group G however when their second round match heads to extra time, next goal wins rules are called again and Ghana lose a 7 hour war of attrition to go home, but with their heads held high.

Man to watch: Kevin-Prince Boateng. The Schalke player is considered a utility man. When he’s not playing football he can unclog your drains, mow your lawn and fix your faulty wiring.

Did you know? Goalkeeper Adam Kwarasey’s favourite artist is Morrissey.

Portugal

Sammy Porker reports for TIF News Desk on Portugal and their preparations for this World Cup:

The losing finalists from 2010 return attempting to avenge that defeat and secure the World Cup trophy for the third time and coach Paulo Bento has a very strong squad at his disposal with which to do this.

Solid from the back, Brazilian striker turned Portuguese goalkeeper Bebeto is defying his years with some acrobatic performances between the sticks and the protection he is getting from defenders Ricardo Costacurta and Luis Nesta, both of whom renounced their Italian citizenship to come out of retirement and play for Portugal.

Where the real magic happens though is the midfield. Tactical genius Jose Moutinho has found an excellent spot to work his ‘special’ powers in the middle of the park alongside Patrick Vieirinha, who previously represented France.

Certainly the talent is there and this exciting Portugal side are seen by many as having what it takes to go all the way in Brazil.

TIFND prediction: With such a strong and experienced side it is hard to look beyond Portugal as World Cup winners and we believe that they will do so in style.

Man to watch: Ronaldo. The former Brazilian has had his fitness levels questioned having put on some weight in recent years however he has fought his way back to international level, now for Portugal, and will be eager to make a big impact.

Did you know? The Portuguese national side’s nickname, ‘Os Navegadores’ translates in English to ‘the door is slightly ajar’.

USA

The USA side, nicknamed USMNT (United States Mutant Ninja Turtles, for their love of pizza and Bruce Lee films) have been dealt a tough hand in Group G but with head coach Jurgen Klinsmann at the helm, they have a born winner who believes he can see his side safely navigate the group stages and progress much further in the tournament.

As a player, Klinsmann was known for his playacting, diving and other theatrics but as a coach he has shown a remarkable knack for winning. His most famous victory came in 2007 when managing a Stuttgart based sunday league team. Trailing 3-1 with 15 minutes to go, Klinsmann orchestrated a remarkable comeback, utilising his now trademarked ‘Air Strike Attack’ formation, consisting of 7 strikers playing in a line whilst linked arm in arm, his side scored 3 late goals to win 4-3.

As coach of the USA, Klinsmann has adapted his tactics to the international game. We have not seen the ASA formation but in a qualification game against Guatemala, fans were witness to the birth of Klinsmann’s ‘Thunder, Lightning, Strike’ formation (2 defenders, 5 midfielders and 3 strikers who wait on the touchline and only take to the field when their opponents least expect it) as the USA ran out 3-1 winners.

Will Klinsmann’s revolutionary tactics be enough to propel the USA to glory at the World Cup?

TIFND prediction: Under Klinsmann’s tutelage the USA will be in a strong position after their opening two games however in their final group game against Germany they will come unstuck attempting a new formation involving goalkeeper Tim Howard basing himself in the centre circle. The USA will lose 7-2 and be eliminated. Klinsmann will be ridiculed and sacked a week later.

Man to watch: Jozy Altidore. The striker is expected to be deployed in a position atop Michael Bradley’s shoulders in an attempt for the US to gain aerial dominance in Brazil so he won’t be hard to spot.

Did you know? The World Cup is expected to be watched by roughly 75 Americans.