WORLD CUP PREVIEW: GROUP H

Here we are, the eve of the World Cup finals in Brazil and TIF News Desk are previewing the competition group by group and with a microscope whilst wearing an anorak.

We end our previews with Group H, the group being overshadowed by espionage, abuse of the loan system and Vladimir Putin.

Algeria

The Algerian squad may not be looked upon as pre-tournament favourites but the ruthless nature of the Algerian Football Association and head coach Vahid Halilhodzic could very well give them the edge.

The poaching of Tottenham and France ace Nabil Bentaleb was looked upon by many as unsporting behaviour after the midfielder betrayed the country of his birth and switched allegiance to play for Algeria. However, it is this act which has highlighted just how dangerous the Algerian side can be as they will stop at nothing to bring football glory to their country.

One potential roadblock for the Algerians could be a French side determined to gain revenge for the defection of Bentaleb as France play in Group F, meaning a potential quarter-final or semi-final with the underhanded Algerians. Only time will tell if they will live to regret their act of subterfuge. Could Bentaleb strike a winning goal for his adopted nation or perhaps he could even turn tail once again during the tournament? We shall see.

TIFND prediction: A quarter-final showdown with the French will see the Algerians undone after goalkeeper Rais M’Bolhi discovers his French heritage at half time and defects to France, letting in 9 goals in the second half.

Man to watch: Russian goalkeeper Igor Akinfeev, who is rumoured to be another Algerian spy ready to switch allegiances when the two sides meet in the group stages.

Did you know? Algeria is in Africa.

Belgium

Whilst not being considered genuine contenders for the World Cup crown, Belgium are being considered by many as outsiders to go far in this tournament. A squad that boasts the likes of Axel Witsel, Marouane Fellaini and Vincent Kompany has been labelled by some pundits as ‘dark horses’. These pundits have been sacked for their racist comments.

More controversy has come the way of the Belgians and their coach Marc Wilmots for his use of the loan system after he secured the services of Chelsea’s Romelu Lukaku for the tournament, a striker whose loan spells have seen great success come the way of the team loaning him.

The Belgian FA have also shown a willingness to open the cheque book after managing to fend off competition from Serbia, Kosovo and even the mighty England to sign the highly-rated Adnan Januzaj. The Belgians are believed to have won the youngster over by agreeing to pay him in Nando’s meals.

It remains to be seen how astute Belgium’s dealings in the transfer market will be enough to see them return home with the World Cup trophy. The likes of Germany and Argentina are potential second round and quarter-final opponents so this Belgian side knows it will need to be at its best to progress beyond those stages.

TIFND prediction: Upon reaching the quarter-finals, Belgium will discover its ‘golden generation’ are in fact made of gold and will sell them, forfeiting their place in the tournament.

Man to watch: Marouane Fellaini. Just look at that hair go.

Did you know? A bell is an object, oft used in clocks, that creates a sound when struck. ‘Gium’ comes from Alfred Gium, who discovered Belgium and lent his name to the country.

Russia

After a poor Eurovision campaign, Russia sets its sights on the World Cup and made it to the tournament in impressive fashion, topping a group ahead of Cristiano Ronaldo’s Portugal.

Since then though, Russia has been less impressive with their mascot, Soviet Bear, losing a student election and their dismal Eurovision performance, where they were booed lots, making them slightly less popular than genital warts.

It is a difficult time for head coach Fabio Capello as he tries to instil belief in his side however insiders from the Russian camp have said that the team’s morale is struggling.

“The fact is that the team knows the moment they step out on to the pitch they’re going to be met by boos. We understand that the government is deploying forces sending fans to cheer loudly at the games but the players remain unconvinced and are going to be really sad because people don’t like them.”

Could the Russians overcome adversity and triumph against all odds to become heroes? The West rest of the competition hope not.

TIFND prediction: Booed at every step, the Russian side will conquer adversity and qualify from the group, only to be beaten by the USA in the second round.

Man to watch: Vladimir Putin. It is believed he could be planning to send soldiers instead of footballers and annex part of Brazil.

Did you know? The Russian language was initially developed by polar bears and ice fishermen as a means to spread communist propaganda.

South Korea

Ever since football came to South Korea in 2002, a national holiday has been declared whenever the national team play a match. The victory over Uzbekistan which sealed their qualification was officially the ‘least productive day’ in recorded history in the country.

As such, expectations are high for the Asian side who will be aiming to repeat the successes of their 2002 tournament run to the semi-finals and head coach Hong Myung-Bo has been allocated a large fund with which to pay off officials to favour them.

But the team are not just about bribing referees and days off work. Hong has instilled a rigorous training schedule which includes monkey bars, cargo nets and ball pits along with a strict diet consisting of protein shakes, falcon eggs and rocks and says his charges are in the best shape of their life ahead of the tournament.

Will the Koreans repeat their 2002 success? Can footballers really digest rocks? You will only find out by watching South Korea take on the Russians in their opening game.

TIFND prediction: Needing only a draw in their final group game, Hong Myung-Bo’s regime will finally catch up with his team as they all go down with food poisoning and lose 27-0 to Belgium.

Man to watch: Park Chu-Young. The striker has not exactly played a lot of football since signing for Arsenal in 2011. It will be interesting to see if he can still remember how.

Did you know? South Korea is the good Korea.